Enter the Valkyrie Pirates
by Laughing on Purpose
Summary: 20 years after the Second Pirate King, Monkey D. Luffy s, execution, the world is still packed with pirates. Enter Rensselaer D. Kaizer, a man who craves for adventure. Driven to sea by the former crewmate of the late Pirate King, Black Leg Sanji, Kaizer gets new crewmates and goes on a rocky ride to find the treasure that could make him the man with the most freedom in the world.
1. The Beginning

**Hey people. This is my third One Piece story. Please R&R and if you have the time, also take a look at Thunderstruck and Rolling in the Deep Blue Sea. Thanks in advance!**

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_"What are you? Get away from me, you monster!" The pirate captain John Skinnybones, with a bounty of 13,000,000 berries, scrambled away from him in fear._

_"I`m not a monster…" The man who defeated him said. "I just have the power of god."_

* * *

**South Blue, Getsuga Village**

Rensselaer D. Kaizer threw a stone in the air, catching it on its way down. He was getting bored of this island.

He yawned. "Will I have any freedom at all?"

A voice behind him spoke, "Well, you could try becoming the pirate king."

Kaizer turned around. Behind him, a blonde man smoking a cigar sat on a rock.

"And you are?"

"I`m just a first-class chef, Sanji-san."

"Sanji!"

"Huh, you`ve heard of me?"

"Don`t tell me….the second Pirate King`s lackey?"

After saying that, Kaizer got a burning kick to the face. He ran to the river to wash it.

"I`m not a lackey! I`m the vice-captain!"

"But I thought that was Roronoa Zoro…"

"FUCK THAT GUY! ACTING LIKE HE`S ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY BECAUSE HIS BOUNTY WAS HIGHER THAN MINE!"

"Alright, alright, calm down…."

"DON`T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU SHITTY KID!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

The two engaged in a battle, but Kaizer just ended up eating the ground. "Even if it`s been 20 years since he died, it`s still 1,000 years too early for you to challenge me, kid."

Kaizer brushed himself off, embarassed, and stood. "Anyway, what did you mean by `you could try becoming the pirate king`?"

Sanji sighed. "Our vice-captain was like that too," he began. "Joining his crew just for the hell of it, always being lazy until it was time to fight. He always had to outshine me, that bastard. If you`re bored, go ahead and try to conquer the sea."

With that being said, the Pirate King`s crewmate walked away, leaving a still lit cigar on the ground.

**3 Months Later**

The town was in panic. Marines were stomping around everywhere, looking for someone. "Black Leg Sanji, stop hiding! We know you`re here somewhere!"

Kaizer saw the panic from on top of a hill. Hearing their shouts, he realized they were searching for the man who had talked to him. He began running towards the town, trying to find Sanji. He followed the Marines.

In the town square, he saw the Pirate King`s crewmate standing fearlessly, not wavering for a second. The marines all aimed their guns at him.

"Black Leg Sanji, bounty 770,000,000 berries! Surrender and we will not use force!"

He lit his cigar. "Like I`ll surrender, shitheads."

He ran towards the marines, kicking them, burning them, and mostly beating the crap out of them. In seconds, all 200 marines that had come to the island were down on the ground, in pain.

Suddenly, someone grabbed him. He turned around, and to his horror, he saw the Fleet Admiral Sengokan. "What are you doing here?" He asked in shock.

The man's strength was no joke. With a grip like iron, he raised up the cook and brought him crashing onto the floor. Surprised but unfazed, Sanji began his counterattack with a barrage of lava-hot kicks and strikes, dealing massive damage to the Fleet Admiral's...coat. Aside from slight burns, the son of Sengoku had barely been touched. Cracking his knuckles, he sent a devastating fist into the retired pirate's ribcage. Sputtering up blood but still able to fight, the former crewmate of the pirate king focused all the flames into a single one of his toes. "Devil Spatula," he muttered, impaling Sengokan with the heat of a thousand sons. He crumpled.

As he began to walk away, a voice behind him spoke. "Not too fast, brat," the Fleet Admiral mocked, rising to his feet. "You have not yet tasted the holiness of the God's Palm."

"I'm a cook. I know what tastes good and what tastes like shit. For you, it's the latter."

"Your impudence shall not last long, child! Prepare to crumble before the might of the Daibatsu!"

Sengokan's body grew to the size of one of the buildings on the blazing street. Shimmering with vibrant gold, his voice boomed in the ears of everyone surrounding him. "Kinkaku's Roar!"

It nearly felt like a hurricane had swept through and devastated the town. Everything; the houses, the soldiers, Sanji; were all wiped out, blasted into the sky because of the enormous pressure.

"The only route for pirates is death," the Fleet Admiral spat, wiping the blood of his lips. Encasing "Black Leg" in a Kairouseki-enforced net, he walked away, humming to himself to ease the pain.

**The Next Day**

At the square, the entire town was gathered. The Fleet Admiral was holding the public education of Black Leg Sanji. Kaizer was there, eyes locked onto the execution platform. Two guards with spears stood by the prisoner.

"Black Leg Sanji! Do you have any last words!"

"Yes, I do." The Pirate King`s crewmate took a deep breath. Kaizer prepared himself for what the man was about to say.

"Rensselaer D. Kaizer!"

In a shocking gasp, he realized that Sanji was talking about him. "You can do it! Sail the Grand Line, and become the Pirate King! Carry on…the will of D!"

Kaizer couldn`t take any more. His fingers rippled, distorting the air around him. He clawed the air towards the two executioners, the air still blowing like paper. In a deep voice, he whispered, "Papercut."

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**Thanks for reading. Now click the blue buttton at the bottom of the screen! Also, I am accepting OC`s. I don`t really have a template, but some required things are name, age, appearance, history, dream, personality and weapon/fruit/ability. Anything else is optional.**

**Once again, thanks!**


	2. New Names

As if they were sliced by a sword, the two guard`s uniforms were slashed, along with their skin. They yelped and fell to the ground. Fleet Admiral Sengokan stood there in shock, wondering what just happened.

Even Sanji was surprised. "W-What…?" he stuttered.

Kaizer ran towards the execution platform, and jumped onto the wooden stand. He punched the sea stone handcuffs restraining Black Leg, grabbed him, and jumped off the stage. The Fleet Admiral chased after them, to no luck. Black Leg had begun kicking everything with his foot aflame, causing all the surroundings to start burning. The Marines had no choice but to protect the ones who were spectating the execution. By the time the fires had died out, the two were already gone.

* * *

As they ran towards the shore, Sanji and Kaizer looked for a ship. They found a medium-sized sailboat, and cimbed onto it.

"Damn," Kaizer said. "Even if I stop now, I`ll still be a criminal. Guess I have no choice, huh, Black Leg?"

Sanji smiled, smoking his cigarette. "Yeah."

As they began to set sail, it started to rain. They both laughed, and the ship rode into the night.

* * *

**Marine Headquarters, Mariejois**

Sengokan was mad. More than mad. Furious. Black Leg escaping his execution would ruin the Marine`s reputation entirely. However, he was more angry about the boy who helped him escape. In fact, "Air Cutter" Kaizer already had a bounty of 51,000,000* berries on him. As he flipped a few more tables, made rage faces, and knocked over cereal, his loyal sidekick, Vice Admiral Hanzo showed up. He had jet-black hair in spikes, a sword strapped to his back, and wore a marine coat with the kanji for "Justice (正義)" on the back over his uniform.

"Fleet Admiral," he began, "Please refrain from destroying the base. Another flipped table, another 20,000 berries wasted."

Sengokan abruptly stopped. "Hmph!"

"So, what to do with this new...obstacle?"

The fleet admiral sighed, sitting down on a blue sofa. "Call the Warlords."

* * *

"So..." Kaizer said, "What should we call ourselves?"

Sanji looked up. "I don`t know. Besides, I`m not staying here permanently?"

The younger boy sighed. Sanji had explained this the day before. He would stick around until they got to the Grand Line, then they would part ways on the first island, Don`t say anything because true men part without words, blah blah blah.

"Well, which crewmember should we get first?"

"A lady!"

"..."

"Ok fine. Well, first we should get a navigator..." Drool was dripping from his mouth.

"Then an archaeologist..."

"Then a doctor..." The drooling stopped.

"Then a shipwright..."

"Then a sniper..."

"Then a musician."

Kaizer looked at him. "No cook, no swordsman?"

"Well, you would need a cook, but not until you get into the Grand Line. What`s a swordsman?"

"Nevermind."

* * *

**Back to Marine Headquarters**

Three figures got off from their pirate ships, anchored onto the dock. One was about 5`9", average, while the others were giants, ranging from 8 to 9 feet tall. All three walked towards the building, the marine soldiers making a path for them. All the marines saluted to the pirates. Whispers could be heard.

_"You see him? That`s the 'Careless Demon' Hellbadger!** He killed 20 of his own crewmates for getting his ship`s floor wet!"_

_"This is the first time I`ve seen him in reality... 'The Scavenger' Vulturino, with a bounty of 360,000,000 berries!"_

_"'Beast King' El Tigre! Just hearing the name makes me shiver!"_

The average-sized pirate had a shaved head with four skull piercings on his nose***, with a pitch black mask covering his nostrils, mouth, and the rest of the bottom half of his face. He wore an expensive-looking fur-lined long black coat over his upper body and most of his lower. Under the coat, he wore a formal white shirt accompanied by a pair of dark pants. A few knives and a bottle of rum were stuffed in his belt. As he walked, a black scorpion-like tail sprouted from his ass and started wagging at the marines, as if taunting them to come and attack him. He was "Careless Demon" Hellbadger.

The tallest one, measuring a little over nine feet tall, had dirty black and gray hair with hints of red in it. He was bare-chested, and had red skin thin enough to see his ribs. He wore a pair of dirty gray pants, with two huge bumps sticking out of his back. His nose and mouth were sharpened like a beak. The marines doubted this was his actual appearance. Did the man eat a Zoan-type devil fruit? The mysterious giant was "The Scavenger" Vulturino.

The other giant had muscles that looked like they could tear a building apart with one finger. "Beast King" El Tigre had eaten the Neko Neko Fruit: Model Tiger, and was still in his hybrid form. His whole body was that of a huge, bulky tiger, except for his eyes, which were human. The most notable thing about him was that instead of two arms, he had four. No race on the planet had four arms. The only species that had aything close to four arms were the Longarm tribe, which had four elbows. What was this man?

Vice Admiral Hanzo appeared at the HQ`s entrance. "Welcome, scum of the sea," he said calmly. "Please return to your original forms, Pidgeon, El Kitty."

* * *

Kaizer sighed. "This is still boring," he complained. "Everyone`s running away from us because you`re a legendary pirate. Were all pirates such cowards?"

"Deal with it!" Sanji grunted. "Besides, me being with you might make gathering a crew easier."

"Well, let`s gather a crew."

Suddenly, a dozen men rushed towards them, all armed with swords and knives. "We are bounty hunters from South Blue, the strongest sea of the four Blues! Surrender, "Air Cutter" Kaizer, and the old man with you!"

Sanji annihilated them so badly, it wasn`t even worth writing in this story. He and his companion kept walking forward. They went into a bar to ask the locals some questions.

Kaizer went up to the bartender. "Hey," he asked. "Y`know any strong people around here?"

"In South Blue? Well, there`s Octavian, Fei, Saibo, and-"

He was interrupted by a blazing fast kick headed towards Kaizer`s head. At the last second, Sanji got out of his seat and countered it with a kick of his own. Kaizer looked at the attacker. His eyes widened. "What are you-"

The man who assaulted him smiled. "Long time no see, bro!"

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**Well, that wraps up Chapter 2. Who is the mysterious attacker who calls Kaizer his brother? What are the Seven Warlords called out for? Find out next time on Chapter 3 of "Enter the Valkyrie Pirates,"**

**Trouble on Pancake Island!**

**Codes:**

***The reason why Kaizer`s bounty is so high since the beginning is because of the crime he commited, not his real power.**

****See what I did there? "Careless Demon" Hellbadger. Hahahahaha!**

*****Basically, the piercings on Hellbadger`s nose are similar to those of Pain from the Naruto series.**

**New Characters Mentioned:**

**Hellbadger** by me

**Vulturino** by me

**El Tigre **by me

**Hanzo** by me

**Octavian M. Rockefeller **by DoctorChopper

**Saibo **by ShikaTachidoriKitsuneHebiTaka

**Fei Lan **by Ryuzaki Hanabishi

**See you on the next update!**


	3. Trouble on Pancake Island

**Hurray for super-late updates! How long has it been? two, three weeks? A month? ****Well, enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I don`t own One Piece. It belongs to Toriyama Akira. Actually, it doesn`t. It belongs to Tite Kubo. Well, actually, not him either.**

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The person who attacked him wore a leather jacket over a black t-shirt, accompanied by black leather pants with a chain attached to his belt. His hair was dark and straight, slightly covering his eyes. He had a sneer on his face that pissed Kaiser off.

"What are you doing here, Kai?"

Sanji nudged him. "You know this kid?"

Kai replied, "What? I can`t greet my douche of an older brother, 'Air Cutter' Kaiser, with a welcome full of punches and kicks?"

Kaiser`s expression turned angry. "Shut up crybaby! Your attacks wouldn`t hurt anyway!"

"_Aaaaaaaaaaaah?!_"

Kai slammed his foot on the table. "I`ll beat you down right now!"

"Come at me bro!"

The two clashed. Kai was punched in the face, while Kaiser had been kicked in the stomach. The older brother crashed through the window, while Kai`s body thumped against the door, slamming it open.

Unfortunately for him, the door hit the customer walking towards the bar in the face. He wore a red pirate jacket over a simple pair of golden pants. His bare chest was showing, and he had a ponytail with needles stuck inside it. His followers stood behind him, bewildered. The man held his hands on his face. After he recovered, he grabbed Kai by the shirt and lifted him up.

"Hey brat," he grunted. "Do you know who I am?"

"Let me guess. 'I`m the Juggernaut, bitch!'"

The man threw him across the bar. "I`m the vice-captain of the dreaded Rusty Pirates, 'Iron Hammer' Kreps, with a bounty of 11,000,000! So far I`ve killed 58 people, including a Marine Captain! Now bow before me!"

Kai laughed. "Big news," he said. "My brother is Rennsellaer D. Kaiser, a pirate with a bounty of 51,000,000 berries. And with him is a member of the "Monster Trio" of the Second Pirate King`s crew, 'Black Leg' Sanji!"

The pirate stopped talking. Then he blabbed on, "Yeah right! Like I`ll believe tha-"

At the same exact moment, Kaiser, who had jumped back in from the window, launched a palm full of air into Kreps`s chest, cutting him up, while his brother kicked the man at least five times in the head. They simultaneously said, "Shut up!"

While the 'Iron Hammer' collapsed, Sanji walked over. He took the cigarette from his mouth and stabbed it into his head. As he threw the cigarette in the trash, a red mark appeared on Krep`s forehead.

* * *

Somewhere in the New World, Benn Beckman`s ghost shuddered for the 1,337th time. "Looks like someone else is copying my cigarette attack from Romance Dawn.

* * *

His followers ran out of the bar, terrified. Kai was going to go after them, but Kaiser grabbed his arm.

"Let them go!"

His younger brother sighed reluctantly. He walked away from the bar, mumbling something about pirate ships. Or did he say pile of shit?

All of a sudden, about five houses exploded. Kaiser, Sanji, and Kai all looked at the explosion. Kai ran towards it at super-speed. In a blink of an eye, he was gone. The two pirates hurried after him, wondering what was going on.

Krep`s hands twitched. He started to stand up, a look of pure rage on his face.

* * *

"WHAAAAAT?!"

A table was flipped over inside a large pirate ship. A Pandaman doll, three bananas, and a sack full of 50,000 berries fell onto the floor. Many people from the dock heard loud shouting and noises coming from the galleon. It was red and silver, with dents in the metal. On the sail and the mast a pirate flag was flying: The flag of the Rusty Pirates.

The two followers from earlier told the bad news to the figure shrouded in darkness.

"How could Kreps lose?! There`s no way my vice-captain could lose!"

"The two were incredibly strong! One hit and it was over!"

Large hands grasped their necks. "Do you think that some _rookie pirate _that hasn`t even killed anyone yet could possibly defeat my most trusted crewmate!?"

"No, captain! Very much not!"

"Good! Now get back to work! I`m gonna make those two Rennsellaer brats wish they were never born!"

"Aye, captain!"

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**And there you have it! Chapter 3! Hope you enjoyed!**

**Also, I have an announcement to make.**

**If you have an OC, it would be better to PM me. Apparently, interactive stories aren`t allowed. Also, if you feel like it, you can even submit your own island! **

**See you on Chapter 4!**


	4. Speed or Strength?

**Chapter 4 of "Enter the Valkrie Pirates!" Get ready for Thor`s Hammer, a sofa-sized crotch, and Bloodbenders! ****Hip hip Hooray! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. All concepts go to Eichiro Oda, but characters (except Sanji) are mine.**

* * *

No one noticed the hammer floating towards Kaiser`s head, not even Sanji, who possessed Observation Haki. It hit him straight in the forehead, then flew back into Kreb`s hands. Although it didn`t completely knock his head right off, an iron hammer to the head will hurt. Kaiser`s eyes bulged out and he coughed out a load of blood from his mouth. There was a cracking sound. Sanji`s eyes widened. Blood was pouring out of Kaiser`s head. Sanji sighed, picked Kaiser up, and ran as fast as he could to the nearest hospital. He got there in about a minute, and by then Kaiser had lost a lot of blood.

"Emergency!" he yelled inside the lobby. "EMERGENCY!"

A few nurses saw Sanji and immediately ushered him to a hospital room. They placed Kaiser on the bed and immediately began stitching his head back together. Sanji didn`t watch. He walked away, a bead of sweat making its way down his forehead. He waited outside the door for a few minutes until a doctor informed him that he would be fine.

"All we have to do is stitch his head back together, and he`ll have to rest for a few days, he hasn`t lost too much blood, so samples won`t be necessary."

"Alright doctor. Thanks."

The chef waved goodbye to the doctor, who went back inside the room. As soon as he got outside, Sanji ran in the direction of the explosion earlier. When he got there, he saw Kaiser`s younger brother Kai doing remarkably well. He was engaged in battle with a bare-chested giant, probably twenty meters tall. All the big man was wearing was a brown toga. The giant was too slow to compete with Kai`s speed. He clumsily stomped the ground and swung his fist at Kai, missing every time.

He laughed. "It doesn`t matter how strong you are," he said. "If you can`t hit me, you can`t hurt me."

And with that, he kicked the giant in his sofa-sized crotch, who was sent flying. However, he knew the giant wasn`t done. He shot past Sanji, kicked the deluxe-sized bean bag in the face multiple times, sent an uppercut into his jaw, then jumped over the giant`s head and smashed his elbow onto his scalp, which accidently made the giant bite his tongue and fall face first into the ground.

Kai was actually shocked. He looked down. "I didn`t mean to kill him…" he began, but was stopped. The giant miraculously stood up after biting his tongue.

"_Yhu vhink dvat tvis ithz enuff tuh khil vme? Villy vurm!" _

And with that, the giant punched the ground where Kai had been standing, creating a crater in the stone. He laughed triumphantly, but his victory was short-lived. Kai had climbed onto his elbow with less than a second to spare.

"I ate the Haya-Haya Fruit, which is even faster than the Pika-Pika Fruit. You could try to shoot me from point blank range with a pistol, and you wouldn`t get me."

The giant growled. "_I avm tvuh gveath Tyrone Vicks, who cawwies Capthan Rusvty`s vship acwuos tvuh ochin evwy day! I wvill cusvh yhu, vurm!"_

Sanji became annoyed with his "I _bvhit my thungvh!" _talk, so he kicked Tyrone Vicks in the chest to shut him up. The big guy flew into a pile of garbage bags.

"Wow."

Sanji and Kai turned around. Standing behind them was a bald man in a brown tuxedo, with a brown splotch shaped suspiciously like a handprint in the middle of his face. He wore expensive looking gloves and a nasty, almost psychotic grin on his face.

"Yo, I`m 'Dead Hands' Quantum, Captain of the Rusty Pirates." He pointed at Kai. "Rennsellaer D. Kaiser, I presume?"

Kai smirked. "Rennsellaer D. Kai."

"Brothers, eh," he grinned even wider, taking off his gloves. "I wonder how he`ll like it when he sees your _rotten body, Zarazarazara_!"

Kai sprang forward, and kicked him in the side of his face. However, before he connected, Quantum grabbed his foot. Suddenly, his shoe started to rust. Kai`s eyes widened. He jumped back before his foot could completely harden.

"I watched your fight with Tyrone, kid. I`m not stupid, I know all about your ability."

"No actually, I`m surprised you were actually fast enough to catch it."

"It`s not that I`m fast. I just picked up a bit of Haki in the Grand Line. Your friend here knows what I`m talking about."

"If you were strong enough to get to the Grand Line, why is your first mate so weak?"

A vein bulged in the man`s forehead. He thrust his hand out, and Kai jerked uncontrollably. He started screaming, twitching on the ground like a rat on the subway who had accidently climbed onto the third rail. Sanji realized what was happening and ran towards Quantum. He lit his foot on fire, and shouted, "Collier Shoot!"

His foot kicked Quantum who had attempted to block the strike with his hand, but had badly burned it and was sent sprawling. Kai stopped twitching. Sanji stood in front of him, looking at the man he had just kicked.

"You ate the Sabi-Sabi Fruit, didn`t you? The fruit that has the power to rust everything it touches. But I`ve never heard of rusting the iron in someone else`s body."

Quantum stood up, dusted himself off, and clapped loudly. "As expected of the crewmate of the Pirate King! You see things very clearly!" His eyes gleamed. "But haven`t you forgotten about yourself?!" He thrust his hands out and Sanji began twitching.

Then the luckiest thing happened. It was kind of a coincidence, but Tyrone Vicks the giant decided to wake up and punch the first thing he saw. Which was Quantum.

* * *

**And that concludes Chapter 4! See you in a few days-no, weeks, maybe months for Chapter 5! _Hasta la vista, baby._**

**Is Tyrone retarded? Will Kaiser be alright? What happened to Kreps? Find out next time, on DRAGONBALL Z.**

**Rage of the Rust Man**

**Keep on submitting your OC`s!**


	5. Rage of a Rust Man

**Jesus, it's been waaaaaaaaaay too long. Having some dumbass destroy your computer really puts a guy on hold. Also, I wasn't with the outcome of the previous chapter, but meh. Time to get back into this.**

* * *

Kaiser woke with a start. All he could remember was something blunt hitting the back of his head. _Damn, _he thought. _I should probably watch out next time. _In a surprising turn of events, he had just been OHKO'd by a hammer wielded by an unconscious person.

The nurse who had stitched his head back together held out her hand. She had rather bright pink hair in a ponytail, and she was donned in a pink nurse's outfit as well.

"How many fingers am I showing?" she asked.

"Four," Kaiser answered correctly.

"Wrong," she responded."What? Bu-"

"Blast." As he watched, her entire right hand converted into a robotic arm. A hole opened in the center of her palm, and she fired.

* * *

While the hero was dealing with the hot nurse, Quantum was crushed underneath the fist of his ship-carrier. As Tyrone's knuckles dug the captain's face into the dirt, Kai and Sanji attempted to clear out the fire. It was at this moment when Kai's ability seemed most useful. In a matter of The seconds, all the fires had been ceased, leaving the two to focus on Quantum. The captain of the Rusty Pirates was still kissing the floor beneath his feet, and Tyrone was too blind with rage to realize that he was thrashing his master.

"Must. Kill. Puny... humans!" he bellowed, thundering Quantum beneath the dirt. Growling and howling with rage, the giant continued to go on a rampage, even stomping him with his feet. When he finally calmed down, Quantum was already at death's door. He had been nearly flattened by the thousands of punches thrown at him, not to mention that Tyrone had fallen on him immediately afterwards. Even Kai and Sanji had to feel bad for the guy. "Dead Hands" would not be coming out of this unscathed, and Tyrone would be killed if Quantum ever woke up.

"Well," Kai grunted. "We sucked."

"Not neccesarilly," Sanji commented. "We managed to put out the fires, and you defeated Tyrone."

"But what would've happened if Tyrone actually finished himself off? If we hadn't been that lucky?"

Even the Black Leg couldn't answer that question.

* * *

"Seriously, what's your problem, broseph?" Kaiser asked, astonished.

"You're with him!" the robot nurse exclaimed, shooting left to right with lasers. The insurance was going to be a bitch.

"Who's 'him'?" he shouted back?

"The one you call Black Leg!" she exclaimed! "My name is Jackie! Sanji was supposed to marry me 19 years ago!"

Kaiser doubled up. Wut.

* * *

**So, how did you like the first chapter since 10 months? Now I have to get used to writing on this fricking tablet.**

**Also, Kuzan's penguin will win C Block. Arlong Park ftw!**


	6. Scene 1: Kaiser and Jackie

**In response to the goddamn long hiatus, how about I give you guys an extra chapter? I haven't left much room for character development, and things are moving way too fast, just as Rukai0 said! Thanks for the feedback!**

* * *

Kaiser was always the type of person who acted rashly. He would bully his little brother, easily be baited into a fight, and say many things he shouldn't have. The man spent more care styling his hair than most things, leading most who knew him to see him as a rude punk. While he did not neccesarilly seem to care about their opinions of him*, he despised being ignored. Having everyone's attention was something he enjoyed, thus the flashy hair and constant quarrels. He loved coming out on top. He loved feeling dominant. He loved being the buzz of the local news. Kaiser was competetive, boastful, and something of an asshole; all possible qualities of a ruthless pirate. The kind of pirate that killed for entertainment and sport.

But in a situation like this, even he had to choose his actions carefully. He had dealt with situations like this before; and always the woman was troubled by some irrelevant and trivial problem. He sighed. He would've rather been captured by the Marines.

"Lady!" he loudly shouted. "Sit your ass down and simply talk! You don't need those fancy lasers!"

Still firing beams from her arm-cannon, she retorted, "I need them if I'm going to murder that son of a South Bir-"

She stopped momentarilly. "W-what are you doing?!" she exclaimed. All of Kaiser's precautions had jumped out the window as he tightly gripped her cyborg limb. With a roar, he flipped Jackie over his shoulder and wrecked the nurse into the floor. While she was momentarily dazed, he summoned the office papers on Jackie's desk and locked them onto her arms and legs with a snap of his fingers. A single sheet of paper may not have been the heaviest thing in the world, but with well over a hundred thousand of them pinning her down, it was like being pushed underneath a tree. "Now, talk."

"死ね、ドアホ!"

Kaiser was taken aback as he realized she was talking in a foreign language. When contemplating how this change could have occured, he realized that he had probably damaged something when he asaulted the nurse. As she was a cyborg, she must have had a translating device implanted inside of her.

"触るな、クソ海賊が!"

"No idea what you're saying, miss, but that can't be anything nice. I suppose you're cursing me out in your native tongue?" He was mocking the girl, and he knew it, but what else could he do? He didn't understand her, and she wasn't saying anything pleasant to him either.

"黒足のヤロウを探してブッ殺す! 邪魔したらテメェも首取るぞ!"

"Uh, yeah, cockroach ash yellow to you too (his horrible misinterpretation of kuroashi-no-yarou, which basically means black leg bastard), um, Jackie."

He heard a sigh of hopelessness escape her throat, indicating that she saw him as idiotic. "Hey, cut me some slack!" he blurted out. "I don't know whatever the hell you're saying!"

She stared at him with a blank, dead-fish expression on her face, clearly dissapointed.

Kaiser breathed in hard, channeling his inner Chris Tucker. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?!" When she burst out laughing, he took that as a yes.

"Pipe down, boy,"she grinned, in a language that he recognized. "It was only temporary." As she giggled once more, Kaiser, seething, promised himself that he would murder her.

* * *

**So how did you like the extra bit of development? The plot didn't go anywhere, but it was a nice break after the incredibly rushed chapters. Also, *=think of Kaiser as a less likeable version of Bartolomeo. If you don't know him, read the current arc.**

**See you later, hopefully not another 10 months.**


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